Don’t be a boorish wedding guest - Sarah Bradshaw
Your cousin’s wedding invitation has arrived in the mail and it’s addressed to you and only you.
After days of wondering if you can bring your boyfriend, you pick up the phone, dial her number and ask.
In an apologetic tone, she explains that she’s trying to keep the cost of the wedding down by only inviting spouses of relatives. You hang up, embarrassed you made the call.
Stop blushing. With so many wedding do’s and don’ts, people make mistakes more frequently than a bride is late to her ceremony. On the other hand, couples spend on average $30,000 on their special day. You don’t want to be remembered as the guest who ruined it, do you? A handful of Hudson Valley wedding professionals have come to the rescue. They’ve attended hundreds of weddings, seen just about everything taboo and are sharing their advice on what guests can do to make the wedding as big of a smash as the cake cutting.
Stephanie and Jeff Padovani, of The DJ Solution in Poughkeepsie, say the first thing guests should do is respond to the invitation promptly.
“I can’t tell you how many complaints we hear about this one,” said Stephanie, who provides music for dozens of weddings each month. “The couple goes to all the trouble of sending the invitation, pre-addressed and stamped for the guests’ convenience, and then never gets a response.” Often, the couple resorts to the telephone for an accurate head count, and that, Padovani said, causes headaches.
The invite, according to Kristy Rice, of Momental Designs in Poughkeepsie, is a clue for guests as to what to expect at the event. Rice, who designs custom invitations, said very formal stationery probably means the couple is hosting a formal affair, so dress up, rather than down. A very funky, colorful invite means a more casual, creative affair, she said. One of her brides requested the invitation read: “Ladies, bring your Keds for a comfortable afternoon.”
Don’t just look at the colors, consider how the invite is worded, said Melinda Diecidue of Bridal Affairs By Melinda in Poughkeepsie. If it states that the bride’s parents have “requested your presence,” that usually means they are the hosts, she said. If both couples’ parents’ names are mentioned, both could be hosts or if there’s no mention of parents, usually it’s the bride and groom running the show.
Maggie & Neil in Garrison, NY »Tags: Culinary Institute of America, dj solution, hudson valley wedding, poughkeepsie wedding, Ritz-Carlton, sarah bradshaw, Stephanie Padovani, Vivian Lanzarone, wedding photographer
